SweetSexyVicky: Confessions of an ALL TABOO Fetish Phone Sex Mistress

Yeah, he’s at it again ladies and gentlemen. Fucking daring me and calling me a fake. Which you should know by now pisses me off. It’s like he’s a childhood bully, calling me chicken. Well fuck that.  Here you go:

First a brief overview:

Jared Lynch first appeared on my blog Late in April “Panty Thief on the Loose”

He was sniffing stolen panties and jacking off in his car outside of his local cracker barrel. God, what a gem he is!

Then he called again in early JUNE and later in JUNE

All pathetic cases of a dipwad motherfucker who has nothing better to do than taunt me and beg me to expose him. To who? Tracy or one of his exes??! I say to that, “what-fucking-ever” please. The guy has about as much creativity as cock length… and since I already posted a picture of his teeny weenie wiener…

(refresh your memory)

You have to see that he’s basically a braindead head case. BUT wait! It gets better.

He  gives me more info, who knows what’s true and what isn’t but here’s the total 411 on Jared the lameass pervboy Lynch:

He works at (supposedly)(cuz generally you need a brain to be employed) national envelope

His girlfriend is Tracy. Her phone number is: 4128609030

that’s her picture

he can be found at this number: 724 217 0159

His home address is:

Jared Lynch
157 west pennsylvania ave
new stanton, pa 15672

or:

jared lynch
po box 235
new stanton, pa
15672

and that’s about all I can say… although… hehehe snicker… what if I were to take tracy’s pic… and her phone number… and spread it all over the net??

Wow. I only paid my cable bill all the way down to add Showtime so I could get David Duchovny’s new show, Californication. I wasn’t even sure if I would like it, but figured, eh… it’s David Duchovny and I love David Duchovny. Seriously, he’s the only childhood crush that survived becoming an adult.

Californication is everything I could have asked for and more. It’s hysterical. I laughed at a lot of the parts, loved the crude humor and all the sex. And, bonus, (hopefully) I don’t think Show is connected to FOX so I can rest easy in the knowledge that Californication won’t get pulled after only 3 episodes aired.

THAT SAID

with lines like the following, who’d want to cancel it?!?

Hank (David Duchovny’s character) is in bed with a cute asianish looking chick. She rolls off of him and says, “Defile me.” He gets a horndog look on his face and all the sudden his phone rings, he takes the call (while she looks majorly pissed) and then gets up to leave. She says, “You’ve got to be kidding me.” He says, “Consider yourself defiled.”

I LOVE IT

There’s also a bit where he’s in the car with his ex and she says, “You smell like pussy” and his reply is “Thank you” which also, majorly rocks.

But for me, the best part (aside from seeing him scantily clad alot and getting some great being fucked by DD POV shots) was when he was in a movie theater and some asshole starts taking a call on his cell phone. Hank takes the phone, says something and hangs up. The guy snatches the phone back, calls his caller back, and a fight ensues.

I would totally pay to see that happen the next time someone takes a call in the middle of a movie I am watching. Then I would propose to the guy who beat up the offender… or at least offer him some awesome sex… because he’d be a true hero in my eyes.

What’s with the lines? All the sudden I am ms popular again– I am not complaining, I love it. But it does seem quite suspicious in light of the one listing being reapproved. Listing taken down, call volume drops ridiculously. Listing put back up, ssssshhhhhhhhhhhhwing! Calls out the booty.

Please do keep calling– you know I love the attention.