Little Black Raincloud
I’m feeling like reading the Tao of Pooh or something, even though my tastes run more towards Eeyore. 
So here’s how I feel:
LOL. Like I am trying to stick my hands in a honey jar and I don’t want anybody to catch me out.
I have a funny, sick feeling inside. My payment for the GRE sadly went through this morning (sadly because it’s Thanksgiving weekend, I paid them last Tuesday and it waited until today to go through… yammer yammer yammer)… and sadly because oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck. That means I am going to have to go take it. Jesus Christ. I let myself get wrapped up in my own bullshit last week to avoid writing my paper and studying for the GRE. Now I have five days? To knuckle down and smarten up. Cuz I have a great big fucking exam to do.
One of the questions on UCI’s application is an essay prompt:
In an essay, discuss how your personal background informs your decision to pursue a graduate degree. Please include any educational, familial, cultural, economic, or social experiences, challenges, or opportunities relevant to your academic journey; how you might contribute to social or cultural diversity within your chosen field; and/or how you might serve educationally underrepresented segments of society with your degree.
I like “Please include any social experiences or opportunities relevant to your academic journey… how you might serve educationally underrepresented segments of society with your degree.”
Mwahaha. Remember this summer when I had the interview and my first response to “what will you bring to the table?” was “dances”??? Yeah.
I totally would like to argue that being a phone sex operator has definitely shaped me as a person, intellectually as a thinker because I don’t just make snap judgements as I perhaps used to, and that I would be bringing a fairly diverse and brotastic view of things to society. Frankly, I am deeply interested in some of the work being done in critical theory on sexuality and mixed media, and I have a unique background which affords me a different view point on the entire thing. I am not going to though, because it’s just a different level of unprofessional.
*Giggle* I just remembered the penultimate night of my last lit class. I was bitching to the instructor about GREs and papers and such and somehow, I don’t quite remember how, horribly mutilated penises found its way into our discussion (it was a group of us) the teacher was saying he had seen the worst, I was begging to differ. We all walked in a mob down to his office to peruse this book which had the scary mutilated penis picture in it, but he couldn’t find it. Steve (a cutie Liberal Studies major who blows glass and wants to teach elementary school)(actually, in retrospect Steve looks a little like someone who sent me their picture recently… creepy) was saying that he’d seen a video on YouTube where a dude took a box cutter to his ballsack and pulled out his testes and had some chick suck them. Totally reminded me of every douchebag caller who has ever been into eunich-ization. (I made that word up because I can’t be bothered to look it up.) So anyways, I kind of nodded at Steve and the teacher and said that I knew lots of guys at work like that– that my favorite guy who likes that shit was Actaeon the dude who is into being a deer and getting hunted. The look my teacher shot me was… different to say the least. Quite amusing. However, that’s proof that there’s a place for admitting you’re a phone ho and then a place for avoiding admitting it at all costs, regardless of how fucking excellent the segue into talking about your clients may be.
Between studying for the GRE and writing a paper this coming week, I will be making new mp3s. I’ve been rather astonishingly verbose here on the blog so I may as well start recording it.