In honor of the hoodie I give you this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CwpCI7SqQc0

If you’ve seen Zack and Miri Make a Porno, you will recognize the song. If not, it still rocks so watch anyways.

I am so done with school at the moment. You know it’s bad when you are fantasizing about restraining professors with ball gags and fisting every stupid person who thinks that saying “misogyny” makes them fucking intelligent. You know what makes you intelligent? Separating yourself from the herd of sheep that believes that anything remotely unpleasant that is said about women is misogyny. Guess what, bitches?

Women are the cruelest, fucking evillest, vilest cunts I know. Not men. And calling a duck a duck is not being speciest or whatever the fuck hatred of ducks is. It’s just speaking the truth. Check it. Gah.

I am kind of all pent up so my post is all over the place. My friend loaned me The Libertine with Johnny Depp in it. I love this movie, I really do. It is just so… stimulating. I like calling a whore a whore and not having said whore be offended. I damn near came in my pants when the one whore kicks Wilmot out, saying that she’d rather he spill his load all over her face rather than leave her caring about him. I am in a dilemma like that right now, I totally emphasize.

The worst *in a good way* part of the movie is right at the beginning, when Wilmot and Elizabeth are in the carriage to London. He shoves his hand up under her skirt and fingers her while she tells him about how he kidnapped her. She grabs his hand to keep it there, she comes, he rubs his fingers across her lips and she sucks his fingers like the greedy bitch she is. Then the scene cuts to him standing in a street in London, delicately sniffing his fingers. It’s just so wrong that it’s beautiful.

So, because I am having troubles sleeping, I popped Closer in after that. Now, my absolute favorite scene in Closer is when Clive Owen is storming around the house after Julia Roberts admits her infidelity:

LARRY: Did you cum?
ANNA: Why are you doing this?
LARRY: ’cause I want to know.
ANNA: First he went down on me, and then we fucked.
LARRY: Who was where?
ANNA: I was on top, then he fucked me from behind.
LARRY: And that’s when you came the second time.
ANNA: Why is the sex so important?
LARRY: Because I’m a fucking caveman!
LARRY: Did you touch yourself while he fucked you?
ANNA: Yes.
LARRY: You wank for him.
ANNA: Sometimes.
LARRY: And he does.
ANNA: We do everything that people who have sex do!
LARRY: You enjoy sucking him off.
ANNA: Yes!
LARRY: You like his cock.
ANNA: I love his cock!
LARRY: You like him cumming in your face.
ANNA: Yes!
LARRY: What does it taste like?
ANNA: It tastes like you but sweeter!
LARRY: That’s the spirit. Thank you. Thank you for your honesty. Now fuck off and die, you fucked up slag.

That is just the best bit of dialogue in a play based movie ever I think. “It tastes like you but sweeter” is a horrible thing to say to a man.

I also love the way Portman plays Clive Owen in the strip club. All you tease and denial fans, go watch and admire. He keeps paying her to tell him her real name and all she says is “Thank you, it’s Jane” and he doesn’t believe her. So he keeps paying her like a dumbfuck.

well there you go douchebag. Now the world knows

V– do you ever get bored out here?
SG- sometimes, but I like watching people
V– ooh, I bet you could write a paper on the mating habits of Cal State Students, as observed in the parking area.
SG– blank look.
V– [explains what  I mean]
SG– Something about my ex wives
V– you don’t look old enough to have exes.
SG– baby girl, I am old enough to be your daddy.
V– I’m older than I look– I am 28.
SG– blink. Ok, maybe not quite. Maybe a young daddy, like 15?
V- but would you be a very good daddy?!
SG– it depends on what kind of daddy you’re looking for… a daddy daddy, or one to smack your ass.
V–I am the one that likes to do the spanking….
SG– oh really!! I don’t like being spanked unless its with a wet noodle or a tongue…
V– how on earth do you spank someone with your tongue?!
SG– it’s easier to show than tell…
V– Is that old line still working for you? It used to work great for me…

blah blah blah lots of flirting and spank talk. eventually would down to Voting for Obama etc etc etc.

Had dinner with friends, it was nice. I am sicker than a dog now (ha. shows you what a fucking ho I am, sick with the mange and flirting with the security guard. I had to leave my silly class because I was getting close to hallucinating….)

mmmmmmm Brandon, your Klingon photon metaphor made me heart sigh. Call me or something… I love it.

Oh, and peoples… all bets are off. I know whats up now bitches. maybe 

——

I just want to write this down real quick. Read this and pretend I am writing it to you

There is absolutely nothing like the feeling of your long, self-assured fingers sliding in and out of me, pushing into me, poking and prying into me and laying me bare under your direct gaze. Urging me closer to my own self fulfillment, plundering my secrets, devouring and savoring my darker, hidden corners. Quick with the flashy turn of wrist, slow to stroke my insides, you push and prod, hem and haw and balance me on the razor’s edge of orgasm, teasing me with your strong, capable hands. 

If you have talked to me recently you will have heard of my most recent sexual dilemma.  Or more like the most recent 2 dilemmas. (Dilemma 1 being the fact that James and I fucked around so hard Halloween night that my business now looks like I got myself fingered by Freddy-freaking-Kreuger)(dilemma 2 having to pertain to the following rant)

I am a girl. Ok, I am a girl who likes to think, likes to swear, loves to shop, be bossy, and put people in their places. I am a Dominant. That means that I have a dominant personality, I am an alpha female, I am in charge and I like being in charge.

It does not mean that I am dominating anyone. (Unless they ask for it). Domination takes 2 people, someone to be submissive and someone to be dominant. You cannot dominate someone if they do not let you. Likewise, you cannot be submissive or submit to someone if they do not realize that you are submitting to them.

For instance:

We are out to dinner and I tell you that you are buying, and you pay. I am just being a cow/bitch/rude person/myself. You actually agreeing with me is you agreeing with me, nothing in my demeanor forced you into saying yes, in fact you could have said no, but you didn’t. Likewise, I was not expecting you to say yes, therefore I was not dominating you because I did not have an expected positive outcome.

We are out to dinner and I tell you that you are paying and you are having the tilapia with macademia nut crust, white wine, and rice pilaf. I look you dead in the eye when I say it and I am serious. When you nod, you avert your glance and you are somewhat sexually aroused as you do as instructed. I know that you are sexually aroused and we are both aware of it. I am getting something from the exchange, beyond my meal.  I am dominating you and you are submitting to me.

There. I said it. I cannot dominate you without being aware that I am doing it and without you making a clear decision to submit to me. Furthermore, the kind of domination you are talking about is sexual in nature, and there has to be something to it. SO. 

If you want me to dominate you, slap your ass, boss you around, or otherwise– fucking ask me. Who knows what kind of reaction you will get.

If you want to be a tourist, then ask touristy questions.

’nuff said.

I am considering putting up a pool. guys, if you want to buy in to the pool you can contact me at sweetsexyvicky@gmail.com. The pool is to see what the hell is really happening. If we’ve talked, you know what I mean. If we haven’t, call me and get the low-down.

———————

mmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Michael, and by Michael I mean NAVYBOY. I am sorry to say that, you’ve been replaced. His name is Brandon, and for some reason, in my head he looks like superman. He’s now boyfriend #1 (yeah, he kind of kicked James to the curb, but only because he is fantastic and has enthusiasm).

How can you not fall in love with someone who accepts how badly you want to have Eli Roth’s baby?

speaking of…

Eli– you didn’t answer my email. I am heartbroken. We could live in czechoslovakia together making horror movies… I could play with props… we could fuck and be nasty and I could be your muse. Seriously, think about it. Please. xxxxx Vicky

FINALLY

people, go vote! Tomorrow is election day– utilize your citizenship!! and vote no on prop 8 if you live in california.

I post a message to you in my blog, and you come running like a sweaty, nervous hound, heeling to your mistress’s call.

Then I tease you, and taunt you as you beg for mercy.

I dig up some old dirt, smear it on the internet… and share it with the world.

For a moment then, I sit, breathless in anticipation of your reaction… wet with the knowing of what’s to come.

And then we dance… MY dance… to the tune of $150.

Money turns me on. Not in a “it gives me a teeny illicit thrill” sort of way, either.

More like a, “I am a complete gold digging whore” sort of way and you can flash your cash at me all you want.

But see, it’s an important kind of gold digging. I don’t take your hard earned cash for my bills, my car payment, or my student loans. You’re little tributes and giftlets are not shucked away for my mortgage or my directv (gotta shout out for my tivo)… you pay my starbucks habit, my movie habit, my buy-myself-something habit. And I love it.

Cuz I am a greedy ho.

Seriously though, the last few weekends in a row have been chock full of me… not working. I have been having too much fun sweating it out between the sheets and I forget all about you sad lonely fuckers who love and worship me. That’s why, regardless of whether or not MY FRIEND wants to listen in this weekend, all you have to do is send me an EMAIL requesting information and I will tell you about how you can purchase an mp3 transcript of this weekends party in my bedroom. MMM unedited, of course. (the word email is a link in case you can’t tell because my css is beig screwy).

YAM figured out which student I had had an interest in a couple of quarters ago– really quickly too, it was astounding. But, his reasoning was… less than sound. Liking star wars is not an immediate “I want to fuck you” but it is a requirement. Sorry, but I draw the line there. The only thing worse than someone not liking Star Wars is someone who prefers Star Trek. No wait. Preferring Star Trek over Star Wars is acceptable but preferring Survivor over either… I have to draw the line and turn away. Period. (They may as well eat babies boiled in birthwater… for all I care.)

And then my teacher-lady-nun friend guessed which of our classmates needs (in my opinion) a good, hard spanking. Preferably, while bent over a student desk, his nose scant inches away from one of his perfectly bland, obviously off-the-cuff papers, as he recited MLA format while I spanked him. Hard. With my leather paddle. SEE THIS VIDEO for a close approximation of what I mean. *gasp* I just watched it. I love that scene. …..

*snicker* Those of you who have been following recent posts will be highly amused to know that I have spoken to 2 Ricks this evening. This is highly amusing to me. And of course, while I was having dinner with YAM, slut was attempting to message me… slut shares his name with YAM– of course he does. Currently, slut is performing his “dildo tied to the leg of a desk” trick. I love that trick.

Finally, lucky me James is on his way home this weekend. I may be rendered incapable of talking… but I doubt it.

MY FRIEND… You know whO you are. James will most certainly be home this weekend. If you want to listen in, this would be a good time because honey, I am horny as all get out and you’ll be getting a pretty hot show.

Let’s see… we have ex-boyfriends,  friends-with-benefits, good callers, bad callers, friends/fellow students lusted after in (mostly)complete silence{don’t play where you will end up having co-workers}, and finally… new people on all fronts. It’s enough to drive a woman fucking crazy. With mad, hot, hornball hormones. Seriously.

I started writing a giant dissertation on why violence can sometimes be sexy and how violence has been used in literature to display sexy goodness for hundreds (if not thousands) of years, but got sidetracked by my hormones. (And by the thought that this is a complete waste of time when I should be writing a paper a teacher will read and grade… not just read and spank to.)

For instance, I need to finish The Mabinogion today and write my paper on it. I also need to put the finishing touches on my paper about the Ulstermen. Oh, and go to French class… but I will wait and see when the midterm is and show up sometime before then. Maybe. (je n’aime pas francais! je deteste francais! je ne parle pas beaucoup francais!)

oh.

one last thing before I go. Jared Lynch left a comment:

jared | jaredfirebird26@aol.com | IP: 71.240.33.210

please take this down vicky

Jared, you know what you need to do to get stuff taken down from my website. You pestered me endlessly to get it up– so now you have to play by the rules to get it down. That’s just how it works. PAY ME. see, it’s very easy.